


Pranks and Car Tires

by hyperius



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Batfamily Meets Justice League, Bruce Wayne Loves Children, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Crack Treated Seriously, Hal Jordan is a Mess, Humor, Jason Todd Being a Little Shit, clark kent is done with batman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:27:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28440144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyperius/pseuds/hyperius
Summary: Bruce doesn't know what message Jason was trying to send, but he'd only wished he did it some place more private than the Watchtower.
Relationships: Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne
Comments: 31
Kudos: 769





	Pranks and Car Tires

The tire was clearly well used and sturdy, the gritty black a soft contrast to the gray and blue tones that surrounded it. The League stood stock still, staring at the large _car tire_ that sat innocently on their meeting table. This isn’t the first time someone brought something strange into the Watchtower, but this time is different. The entire Justice League were on earth for the past few hours, and no one else has access - should have access to the tower. So, it’s from someone else, someone who broke in and is clearly trying to deliver a message. A confusing and confounding message, at that.

Batman strode to the table, looking over the tire with a critical eye. His teammates tensed, ready to move fast in case the tire was a trap - in case it’s about to blow, or maybe shoot off some poisonous gas. Why else would someone put a freaking car tire on their meeting table, if not to hurt them?

But then Batman began to softly chuckle, and they all knew something went horribly wrong. Superman focused in on the air surrounding the Bat, looking to see if there were some sort of joker gas or other mood altering poison, but he saw nothing. The air was clear, but Batman was still chuckling. What the hell?

“Uh, Batman?” Superman took a step closer, eyebrows drawn together in confusion and concern, “Are you ok?”

“Yes,” he shook his head, fond smile on his face, “It’s the batmobile’s tire.”

“Holy shit. How’d it even get up here?” Green Lantern stared at the tire, “Who was able to get it off the bat mobile?!”

“I believe it was my son, and he’s trying to send me a message,” and it’s a horrible way to do it, but it’s communication that doesn’t involve violence so Bruce is taking it as an improvement. His son, his little wayward son, may finally be coming back home. He may finally be coming back into the fold of the family, teasing them how a brother or son should and joining in on their pranks and shenanigans.

Though he isn’t sure what this actually means.

“What type of message includes a tire of the batmobile being snuck into the watchtower?” Hal looked incredulous. He knew the bats are insane, and he knows they don’t operate how normal humans do but this? What the hell type of game is this?

The Green Lantern could practically feel Batman roll his eyes behind his mask. For some reason, Hal has the feeling that Batman gets annoyed just listening to him breath, so every time he tries to speak he instantly ruins whatever good mood Batman was in. Which is kinda a fun game, he must admit. Still, it could get annoying, especially when he feels he’s asking what are relatively simple questions, like: why the hell is a tire of his car in the watchtower?

“I am unsure,” Batman frowned, “It’s either an attempt to get attention, or I’ve wronged him somehow.” Which he doesn’t think he’s wronged him recently. He’s been careful not to step on his toes during patrol, and to not yell when Jason does something morally dubious. He hasn’t been pushing him too much to join in with family activities, he thinks. At least Alfred says he’s been doing well, and he trusts Alfred. So, attention? But why wouldn’t Jason just ask?

…Nevermind.

Bruce walked away from the chattering justice league members, ignoring their calls for him and inquiries about his family life. Instead he opened a comm link to Jason and smiled when he heard the gruff ‘what?’ on the other end, “Why did you put one of the batmobile tires in the watchtower?”

He heard a scoff, “Oh, like you don’t know?”

Shit, what did he do this time? “I don’t know.”

“Bullshit,” He heard Jason all but growl, “World’s greatest detective, and you can’t even figure out how you wronged me so?!”

 _Wronged me so._ That phrase is only used when he’s being melodramatic and causing shit, so Bruce was thankful to realize he isn’t actually in any real trouble. He felt his shoulders relax, tension bleeding out of his bones, “J - Hood. Just spit it out.”

“Spit it out, I can’t because you ate it!”

Oh. _Oh_. Is this all because of food? Did he really - did Jason really steal the tire off his batmobile, broke into the Watchtower and freaked out his entire team because of food? Bruce feels like he should be more surprised than he is, “What did I eat?”

“My heart.”

“Hood.”

He heard a scoff, a little pained sound that was clearly fake before a long sigh, “The last cupcake Alfred made. The one he made specifically for me!”

Bruce’s eyebrows furrowed, “I… the one on the counter?”

“Yes!”

“I thought that was for anyone to eat.”

“No!” He winced at the volume Jason screamed, “It was mine! I was saving it!”

Bruce rolled his eyes, “Well, I’m sorry. I can convince Agent A to make you more,” such an easy solution. Hell, if Jason asked Alfred, he’s sure the butler would happily cook him more. Alfred would do anything to keep Jason coming back to the manor, or to keep him over longer. Any of them would.

“It’s too late. The deed is done and the treat is gone, and soon so will I.”

“What are you planning?” That’s never a good sign.

He could practically hear the smirk on Jason’s voice, “Space, the final frontier and the only place to hide from a hero.”

Oh. Oh no. “Please don’t tell me you’re still in the Watchtower.”

“Ok. I’m not in the Watchtower.”

He’s in the Watchtower. Bruce is sure of it. He let out a little groan, dropping his head into his hands as he felt a headache grow. He loved his son, he’s so happy he’s doing childish pranks instead of shooting at his brothers, but god - oh god, he forgot how much these pranks took a toll on him. He heaved a sigh and turned to the Justice League members, “When you see Red Hood, know he isn’t a threat. He’ll leave when he gets bored.”

“Red Hood? The crime boss? Not a threat?” Hal scoffed, “What the hell?”

Batman nodded, “He’s just being petty.”

“Uh,” The Flash looked at Bruce with concern, “Are you ok?”

“Peachy,” he grimaced, “Now, allow me to excuse myself. I have a headache to deal with,” he strode to the exit, refusing to answer any more questions. He said his peace, and now the rest of the leaguers can deal with his son. They have expressed wanting to get to know more about the bat family, after all. This is a perfect opportunity.

As he was being teleported away, he could hear Jason cackle as something broke, and he couldn’t help the long sigh escape his lips. He’s definitely going to take a nap before tonight.

Jason, and the Watchtower, is a future-batman’s problem.


End file.
